Sunday, October 3, 2010

Death of Rutgers student

I can in no words express how saddened I am by Roger Clementi's death. I read that he was a beautiful violinist. I think about his violin, a violin that will no longer be played by his own hands. One that will never resound with the same vibrancy it had when his fingers touched the strings.

I think of him on the bridge. How scared he must have felt, how lost he felt.. how sad he felt. He must not have felt accepted by his peers, he must have no longer felt that he was loved. I feel like crying and I feel as if I'm on the bridge with him.

I've been there before. In that dark and scary place. Where all you can feel is despair and the walls are closing in on you. All that you can feel is sadness and pain and you just wish, you just wish it would all go away. You can't take it anymore, and it just envelops you.

I never knew him, but he was described as a shy person who was a gifted violinist. Someone who wouldn't hurt others.

Dharun Ravi would be another case. I hope he and Molly Wei understands the hurt that they have caused his family, and the world as well.

No one would want their child to be gay. It's something they can't help. Because they are different and unique and special, their life would be harder. People are cruel sometimes. But I bet Tyler Clementi's parents and friends loved him because of who he was, and accepted him for who he was.

There is news that Ravi and Wei would be convicted for privacy charges as well as hate crimes. I hope they're persecuted to the full extent of the law. Tyler Clementi was a good person whose rights to privacy were taken away by Ravi and Wei.

Ravi probably didn't like the fact that his roommate was gay, and looked for attention from others, even going so far as post on his twitter. But the fact that he told people to message him at a certain time and that he broadcasted this online?? What the hell is his problem? Does he not have a brain, or is he just that cruel and malicious that he could do something like this and not think anything of it?

Well, news for you Ravi and Wei, because of you two, Tyler Clementi is dead and you have to face the facts that you contributed to it.

He probably struggled with being gay his whole life and was still coming to terms with it. He was just a guy trying to live his life, not trying to hurt others.. He was the better person.

What would be sad was if you don't understand what you did, and if you didn't care about what happened to him, only that your life could be dramatically changed because of it.

I hope you understand that words can hurt, but actions speak volumes. I hope you feel the guilt and the pain and the suffering of the things that you have done for the rest of your life. That you carry this with you in your heart for all of your life. Tyler's family and friends will forever carry this burden because they have lost someone dear to them.

Because of your thoughtless actions, a light has gone out from this world.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Mine, all mine! The Problems of Possessiveness

I recently found out that someone close to me decided for his girlfriend that she wasn't going to be a contestant in a pageant. Why?

His response: I don't want people to laugh at you.

And, fyi, his girlfriend is gorgeous.

He told her, if you join this pageant, you're never going to see me ever again.

First, how could he say something to her like that?
And secondly, why does he think he has the right to control her life?
Thirdly, why would he stoop so low to say these things?

It poses this question:

What is it with a person's desire to possess someone totally? Is it jealousy run amock? Could it be fear at its worst? When someone wants another person all to themselves, things can get messy.

When you love someone, you want them to be happy. You want to make them happy. It's natural to want someone you love to be happy. But when jealousy takes control and you want to be the only person in their life is when you need to step back and take a deep look at yourself.

First it starts with your opinions. "Hey, I don't think you should wear that".. and then it can lead to.. "Why didn't you call me?? I was waiting for your call!" .. to "How could you spend time with your friends and forget about me?"

Is it ourselves? Is it our insecurities that cause us to lose sight of what's truly important?

Our insecurities and feelings of jealousy can very well consume us and eventually lead us to a downward spiral of negativity.

He should realize this before it's too late, when he's lost her forever.
But she should also realize, first and foremost, her self worth. And that no man should ever control her like this.

Monday, May 10, 2010

A letter

Dear you,

Whenever you start to think about someone in your past life, and old memories start to come back and you start getting sad, don't forget: people come into your life for a reason. Everything just happens for a reason and you'll get there someday. It doesn't matter how many tears you cry or how much you pray.. whatever happened, happened, and you have to keep moving on no matter what. You can't dwell on the past. You've gotten this far and you have to keep going. And he's got his own life to live too. Someday you will meet someone.

There is a whole world waiting for you and you can't embrace it unless you let go of the past. There is someone out there waiting for you and you can't get to him if you won't let go. Some things aren't meant to be. Embrace all the trials in life because it will one day lead you straight to 'him', the person who was meant for you. There is a person who was meant to love you through thick and thin, through ice and storm.. through everything. You just have to work hard, and be patient, and put everything in the hands of God. Stop trying to control everything and stop feeling sad about things that have happened. Have no regrets because this is your one life to live. There is no other fantasy world out there. This is life, and you are living it, every second of every day.. and you have to make it count.

It's okay to cry sometimes. After you've fallen so many times.. you know how to pick yourself up. Chin up. There are wonderful things out there.. waiting for you.


Wednesday, March 17, 2010


Brother: "Hey, you should volunteer at the Food Court.."
Me: "... Do you mean Food Bank?"
Brother: "...."

Family gives you strength. Strength in numbers, strength in life, strength through hardships. Friends can also be part of your 'family', the group of people who love and support you. I think as long as you have friends and family, you'll be all right. And if not, you will be.

Sometimes people you love hurt you, and sometimes you hurt people you love. What's bad is when you carry on the hurt through the years, letting it escalate into something deeper and darker. You have to let go of that pain, and love again despite it all.

People come into your life for a reason. Instead of questioning why they're there, simply accept their friendship and allow yourself to enjoy every moment you have with them.. you never know what you have until it's gone. Every friendship, every hardship, everything you go through in life will make you a better person. It's just up to you to change.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Dear Stranger,

I just wanted you to know that when you feel lost, there is someone trying to find you.

When you feel sad, there's someone looking to dry your tears.

And when you feel alone, there's someone who wants to be with you.

So when everything feels like it's falling to pieces, don't give up, and remember,
there's someone out there looking for you too.